You Better Do Something

It grieves my heart tremendously to type this. On August 8th, our dearly beloved friend and sister in Christ, Marcia Caulton (more commonly known as Mardy), passed away after a long battle with cancer. This breaks my heart for two reasons. First, I know that Mardy had to endure a lot of pain and suffering through many rounds of chemotherapy and multiple surgeries, and she wasn't deserving of any of it... not even in the least. Secondarily, and selfishly, my heart breaks for those of us who are left behind. Our memories of Mardy are fond, but they cannot compare with the woman herself. She is greatly missed, and will continue to be until we finally join her in Heaven. Mardy had so many gifts that she shared with us freely. The three I remember the most are her joy, her support, and of course, her voice. I cannot think of one time that I ever saw Mardy without a smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. In fact, when she first told me that she had cancer, she did it with a smile and even made a little joke about it. Her joy was astounding and contagious. There is a beautiful video of her singing on Facebook. In the video Mardy is seen lying in a hospital bed singing a worship song with another beloved friend, and while everyone else was feeling sad, knowing that Mardy wouldn't be with us for very much longer, Mardy was singing with a grin that extended from one ear to the other. Mardy was always so supportive, too. It was described best at her funeral yesterday: " Mardy was your biggest fan." It didn't matter how big, small, or far-fetched... if you were doing something, Mardy was right by your side cheering you on and lifting you up along the way. And it didn't matter to Mardy when you stumbled or messed up. Her support was still there.

Lastly, and most of all, I am going to miss her voice. When Mardy sang, Heaven poured out. Her voice had a mysterious yet powerful way of connecting someone's heart with God's. I can't count all the times I cried tears of joy and awe while listening to Mardy sing. The Holy Spirit entered into my heart through the sound of her voice, and I know that I am not the only one who has experienced this. Her last public performance was at Cincinnati State's Commencement Ceremony in June. Thank God it was captured on video:

I had never heard of this song until I saw this video, but Mardy's performance of it has already kindled some sort of fire in my heart. My favorite part is when she sings, "Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... you *better* dance."

Wow. Life gives us those options every single day, and this song has inspired me to put some real thought into my own decisions. I'll admit it, I've skipped class to get some extra sleep that I didn't really *need*. Meanwhile, I could have been expanding my mind and learning about the world and the God who created it. The Bible commands us to seek wisdom as we would for silver, but I chose not to do so because I was a little tired. I've treated people with less love, patience, and grace as they deserve simply because I didn't feel up to it -- I was too concerned with myself and how I was feeling, and likely dragged others down with me. I sat out on my opportunity to rise above whatever it was that was bothering me...... and that bothers me.

This has been on my mind all week as I've watched that video over and over and over again. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "If you're going to talk the talk you've got to walk the walk." It comes to mind every time I see the video. Mardy's beautiful vocal performance is not the most captivating part about this video, at least not to me it isn't. It's the message she sends and the authority she sends it with. Mardy sang to encourage us all to overcome the challenges of life and to keep pressing on. Meanwhile, she was doing just that. Mardy had just had a hip replacement before this performance, and there was cancer in her leg, her abdomen, her lungs, and her brain when this video was shot. She was enduring surgeries and chemotherapy treatments. She was sick. She was tired.

She was dying... and I'm pretty sure she knew it.

Life was giving her the option to sit this performance out or to press on. Even though she had to sing from a wheelchair, she still chose to sing.

I've been asking myself the same question over and over again this week: what's stopping me? All of my excuses are nauseatingly lame. 

I'm tired.

I don't feel well.

I don't feel like it.

I want to be done with these excuses. I want to be done with sitting out. 

One of the most beautiful parts about the song is that you can take out the word "dance" and replace it with anything you're passionate about. You can sing, you can laugh, you can love, you can live, you can share... you can do anything. While you're at it, you can take pictures, you can bake cakes, you can cook food, you can make movies, you can read... you can do whatever you are passionate about. With that said, my encouragement to you is this: find something you love, something you are truly passionate about, and do it. Turn it into the one thing you would still find the strength and courage to do, even if you are trapped in a wheelchair and a cancer-ridden, dying body. And when you get the choice to sit it out or do what you love, whatever it is, do it. You don't have to dance, but you better do something. What's stopping you?

For Mardy, her "somethings" were singing, loving, and worshiping. I know in my heart that as she was breathing her last breath here on earth, she was singing her first note in Heaven. I'm excited for the day I get to join her in singing once again.

Rest in peace, Mardy.