You Better Do Something

It grieves my heart tremendously to type this. On August 8th, our dearly beloved friend and sister in Christ, Marcia Caulton (more commonly known as Mardy), passed away after a long battle with cancer. This breaks my heart for two reasons. First, I know that Mardy had to endure a lot of pain and suffering through many rounds of chemotherapy and multiple surgeries, and she wasn't deserving of any of it... not even in the least. Secondarily, and selfishly, my heart breaks for those of us who are left behind. Our memories of Mardy are fond, but they cannot compare with the woman herself. She is greatly missed, and will continue to be until we finally join her in Heaven. Mardy had so many gifts that she shared with us freely. The three I remember the most are her joy, her support, and of course, her voice. I cannot think of one time that I ever saw Mardy without a smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. In fact, when she first told me that she had cancer, she did it with a smile and even made a little joke about it. Her joy was astounding and contagious. There is a beautiful video of her singing on Facebook. In the video Mardy is seen lying in a hospital bed singing a worship song with another beloved friend, and while everyone else was feeling sad, knowing that Mardy wouldn't be with us for very much longer, Mardy was singing with a grin that extended from one ear to the other. Mardy was always so supportive, too. It was described best at her funeral yesterday: " Mardy was your biggest fan." It didn't matter how big, small, or far-fetched... if you were doing something, Mardy was right by your side cheering you on and lifting you up along the way. And it didn't matter to Mardy when you stumbled or messed up. Her support was still there.

Lastly, and most of all, I am going to miss her voice. When Mardy sang, Heaven poured out. Her voice had a mysterious yet powerful way of connecting someone's heart with God's. I can't count all the times I cried tears of joy and awe while listening to Mardy sing. The Holy Spirit entered into my heart through the sound of her voice, and I know that I am not the only one who has experienced this. Her last public performance was at Cincinnati State's Commencement Ceremony in June. Thank God it was captured on video:

I had never heard of this song until I saw this video, but Mardy's performance of it has already kindled some sort of fire in my heart. My favorite part is when she sings, "Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... you *better* dance."

Wow. Life gives us those options every single day, and this song has inspired me to put some real thought into my own decisions. I'll admit it, I've skipped class to get some extra sleep that I didn't really *need*. Meanwhile, I could have been expanding my mind and learning about the world and the God who created it. The Bible commands us to seek wisdom as we would for silver, but I chose not to do so because I was a little tired. I've treated people with less love, patience, and grace as they deserve simply because I didn't feel up to it -- I was too concerned with myself and how I was feeling, and likely dragged others down with me. I sat out on my opportunity to rise above whatever it was that was bothering me...... and that bothers me.

This has been on my mind all week as I've watched that video over and over and over again. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "If you're going to talk the talk you've got to walk the walk." It comes to mind every time I see the video. Mardy's beautiful vocal performance is not the most captivating part about this video, at least not to me it isn't. It's the message she sends and the authority she sends it with. Mardy sang to encourage us all to overcome the challenges of life and to keep pressing on. Meanwhile, she was doing just that. Mardy had just had a hip replacement before this performance, and there was cancer in her leg, her abdomen, her lungs, and her brain when this video was shot. She was enduring surgeries and chemotherapy treatments. She was sick. She was tired.

She was dying... and I'm pretty sure she knew it.

Life was giving her the option to sit this performance out or to press on. Even though she had to sing from a wheelchair, she still chose to sing.

I've been asking myself the same question over and over again this week: what's stopping me? All of my excuses are nauseatingly lame. 

I'm tired.

I don't feel well.

I don't feel like it.

I want to be done with these excuses. I want to be done with sitting out. 

One of the most beautiful parts about the song is that you can take out the word "dance" and replace it with anything you're passionate about. You can sing, you can laugh, you can love, you can live, you can share... you can do anything. While you're at it, you can take pictures, you can bake cakes, you can cook food, you can make movies, you can read... you can do whatever you are passionate about. With that said, my encouragement to you is this: find something you love, something you are truly passionate about, and do it. Turn it into the one thing you would still find the strength and courage to do, even if you are trapped in a wheelchair and a cancer-ridden, dying body. And when you get the choice to sit it out or do what you love, whatever it is, do it. You don't have to dance, but you better do something. What's stopping you?

For Mardy, her "somethings" were singing, loving, and worshiping. I know in my heart that as she was breathing her last breath here on earth, she was singing her first note in Heaven. I'm excited for the day I get to join her in singing once again.

Rest in peace, Mardy.

God, Gays, and Chick-fil-A: An Examination of the Heart

I can only speak for myself, but I have a slight hunch that I might be speaking for all of us who work at Chick-fil-A when I say this: We are drained. This week has been the wildest emotional roller coaster I have ever been on, and it has also been one of the most demanding physically. All of this piled on top of my personal life has left me drained. And I have one more 12-hour shift to go. But I don't want to use this time and space to talk about myself. I want to share what has happened inside of Chick-fil-A this week, and I am not referring to the dining rooms that were filled to the brim with large crowds of supportive guests and hoards of oppressed same-sex couples who came out literally in groups of thousands. I want to share from the perspective of those who work at the heart of the organization... the ones who really keep it going... the ones who didn't ask for any of this to happen, but have worked tirelessly to see it to its end... we hope.

The week started out on Monday as normal, just with a little bit of added tension knowing that all eyes were on us. The media attention was already pretty thick, and every other guest had a question or comment about the issue. But to maintain our professionalism, and to stay in our rightful places, we have only been able to thank our guests for expressing their opinions, whether they align with our own or not. Albeit, there was one moment today where I nearly snapped at someone, which I will talk about later. Anyway, yeah... Monday and Tuesday were normal. Some of our hearts were just a little bit heavier than they usually are going into a brand new week. Then came Wednesday... a day I don't think any of us will soon forget. 

In case you were unaware, grand openings at Chick-fil-A are pretty big deals. Our loyal guests camp out just to commemorate the event. It's fun. Grand openings are typically when the most business happens at any given Chick-fil-A. With that said, Wednesday was a record breaker. I don't think our front doors actually closed once from the time we opened at 6:30 a.m., to the time we closed at 10:00 p.m., and the drive-thru lane was literally a mile long for almost the entire day. If I had to choose two words to describe the day I would choose humbling and encouraging. It was so incredibly humbling to see almost 2,000 guests come out to show their support of the three things I mentioned in the previous blog post: my faith, my American rights, and my job. It encouraged me in my faith because I saw many Christ-like qualities being lived out in the behavior of our guests. On a normal day, we get shouted at or sworn at when it takes us more than three minutes to deliver fresh food to a guest, and we don't take that lightly at all. We want to respect our guests by respecting their time, which is why we strive for fast service. But we also want to give them hot, fresh food, which is why from time to time it might take an extra minute or two. Sometimes we have to sacrifice a few minutes in place of serving a filet that was made five minutes beforehand. That's just what we do. But yesterday some of our guests had to wait for upwards of 30 minutes to an hour... and they were so gracious. It was refreshing to hand off a tray to a guest who had been waiting for 30 minutes, and being sincerely thanked rather than cussed out. It felt a little like culture shock, actually. I also saw strangers showing genuine love, kindness, and care to one another. There were folks talking to each other from their cars in the drive-thru lane, and children playing with each other as they were lined up outside. It encouraged me as an American because I know that all of these people were standing up for my American right to free speech as well as their own. Not once, not twice, but three times the crowd broke out into song and we had the privilege of joining them. We sang God Bless the USA and the National Anthem, and for the first time in a while, I actually felt proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free....)

And plainly, it encouraged me as an employee of Chick-fil-A to see support after the constant biased and twisted coverage of the controversy, courtesy of our severely misinformed media. 

We thought that things were going to return to normal on Thursday, but Thursday ended up turning into Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day Part 2! Yet again the crowds packed our dining room, and our drive-thru lane was extended into the street. Thursday was far more overwhelming than Wednesday, and here is why: I think people have forgotten that inside of this whole controversy, inside of this whole "operation" (as people have called it), there are people who are simply showing up to work to do their jobs. We want to clock in, serve fresh food (and serve it quickly), and we want to help make each guest feel welcomed into our establishment, as if it were our home. But that gets harder and harder to do when there are so many guests to serve! We ran out of spicy chicken filets, chargrilled filets, and strips multiple times (often *after* they had been ordered by expectant and hungry guests), and, no matter how patient the guests are, any wait longer than 5 minutes is still deemed as unacceptable by all of us employees. Extend those 5 minutes to 30 and multiply it by the hundreds of guests we were serving, and you get frustration, disappointment, and harsh feelings of failure on our end. It's our job to deliver fresh food in 5 minutes or less, not to inform our guests that what they have ordered cannot be made, or to watch as our guests wait hungrily for 30 minutes at a time. On top of this, all of us at Chick-fil-A are emotionally invested in what we do. With that said, and with the continuous strain of the threats and the phone calls and the media and the negative attention added, Thursday was very, very rough. Three shift leaders (myself included) all broke down and cried at some point, simply because we felt overwhelmed. But, thank God, we made it through.

This leads me to today. Friday. National "Kiss-a-Chick Day" or "Kiss Day", or in other words, counter-protest day. The same-sex community and its supporters planned to rally against Chick-fil-A by going into its locations across the country and simply kissing one another to make a statement. Now, this didn't really bother me. I get grossed out when heterosexual couples smooch in public, and no more or no less when homosexual couples do the same. But we had to worry about everyone else. There were undoubtedly going to be guests opposed to this. Mothers with young children, radical Christians, and people who simply would rather not have any PDA in their view. Today, in addition to serving our guests (and yes, there were more today than a typical Friday), we had to be on the lookout for any confrontations. Thankfully, this never really happened at our store. However, I do recall overhearing one customer ask if "the weirdos" had shown up yet. I mentioned earlier that I almost lost my cool at one point today. Well, this was it.  

I said it in the last post and I will say it again: To the same-sex community -- I AM SORRY. I am sorry for the judgement, I am sorry for the ridicule, I am sorry for the oppression. You are people. You are not heathens, you are not sick or twisted, and you are certainly not weirdos. You are people. You are sinners, and that's okay, because I am a sinner too! Jesus died on the cross for you just as much as He did for me because... we are people. I am sorry that you have to deal with those who pretend otherwise.

I very much appreciate you reading this far. If you wouldn't mind taking a moment to watch the following video... I give you my word that it will be worth your while. Take a moment to dwell in the message. No matter who you are: gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor, male, female, broken, complete, struggling, prospering, lost, found, confused, certain... whatever... I ask you to dwell in the words of this song before reading on. I won't ramble on for much longer:

God loves you. In the middle of all of the anger and hatred in this world, the One who created it loves you. If you gain nothing else from reading about the controversy, or expressing your opinions, or even reading this blog, let is be this: God loves you. Because beyond that, literally nothing matters. 

That dear woman singing in the video is named Mardy. She volunteers at my church, and, quite obviously, has a stunning voice. 

She is also dying of cancer.

Literally. Mardy is lying in a hospice bed at this very moment, waiting to die. But let me tell you this: for literally as long as she could, until the bleeding tumor on her brain caused her to "fall asleep", Mardy sang. She sang all day every day in her hospital bed receiving chemotherapy. She sang as she was wheeled out to an ambulance that was waiting to take her to another hospital. She sang in the ambulance on the way there. And she sang late into the night after arriving, until she fell asleep. She has since woken up only one time. Mardy sang because she knows that in the middle of controversy, hatred, sickness, confrontation, anger, oppression, inequality, protests, and yes, even death... God loves us. God loves me. God loves you.

Jesus did not agree with everyone He lived with, but that did not stop Him from hanging on a cross for them. So why do we think it's okay to fight with people who don't agree with us? Why do we feel we have the time we maintain all of this anger and hatred when tomorrow is not even promised to us?

Tomorrow is the last day of the week at Chick-fil-A. I will be working for 12 hours on literally no energy, physical, emotional, mental, and hardly any spiritual energy either. But no matter what happens, no matter how many guests show up, no matter how many news cameras are shoved in our faces, no matter how many same-sex couples protest... God loves me, and He loves them. Remember, that matters most.

Everything else is minuscule. So can we please stop this madness?